Blood Orange & Black Raspberry

s.pellegrino essenza

today marks the day I impulsively bought a website builder to blog and live life as an absolute boomer. Some random tidbits of my life right now:

• for some reason I convinced myself that staying up burns calories and if I overeat myself I should just keep my eyes open to waste energy
• I gained weight...why are all these thoughts related to body image. i mean i want to be skinny again but hopefully this does not lead to any insecurities. 
• I've been working at my mother's office every single day to "focus", but what really is the difference? perhaps i just don't want to clean my room or my desk or my bed or...ok I'm making myself feel bad. positivity.
• been reading a couple of my friend's college essays and they are all really good. losing self-confidence, but i will regain it. in the near future. 
• feel like a lot of people know of me but they don't know me. not complaining abt anything but shallow ego inflates coming from people who like me prolly cuz of looks. again, societal beauty standards. ok man also guilty of trying to conform to those impossible asian beauty standards, but i'm alr tan and a bit plump rn so whatev. back to the point: people don't really know me.  but the people i care abt do so that's all that really matters. 
• I lost my invisalign retainers
• i got computer glasses even though i have supervision, lowkey making my eyesight worse
• have a ton of things to balance, holding on my hm maybe 8 threads since that is my lucky number